thanksgiving in china

I apologize for posting this so late, but it has been rather busy for me here... so the least I'm going to do is slip it into the right date for records purposes. Here goes... enjoy!

. . We (Nicki, Mark, Stan and I) decided to take a "Fantasy Cultural" tour of Beijing, China for Thanksgiving. It always gives me a kick that I end up doing all of my trips over normal holidays, so I took 4 days of leave over a 4-day weekend, but of course, catering to the military, a lot of folks can only get those days off, and I suppose I would be one of them anyway. We began our journey from just outside Osan AB at 0400, and while we had been assured that there would be cabs "around," the street looked pretty desolate and we didn't look forward to walking the mile+ hill in the cold with our luggage, a taxi finally drove past us about a block up. Because the scheduled military bus system would have taken us almost 2 full days to get from Kunsan AB to Incheon Airport/Seoul, we were heading to a local bus station. We purchased the tickets almost out of pure luck and slept most of the way to the airport. Once we checked in, there was thankfully more sleeping upstairs in the "relaxation" area for the airline. Our 3~4hr flight touched down without incident in China.
. . Our first day had a few stops but thankfully we got fed in a timely manner and the tour didn't rush us from exhibit to exhibit. The tour staff automatically had our room alarms set to get us up at 0600 every morning, allowing us to have a fabulous breakfast in the hotel before we started our day, and I'm sure to keep us off the streets at night. The stops were longer than some tours I've been on through military ticket and tours, and the tour guide Sherry/Shelly (Mongolia native) was exceptionally fluent and knowledgeable on both current tmes/statuses as well as the history of Beijing and China.

. . The second day we went to a park where the "older generation" hung out. To make room in the job market, depending on the gender and type of work, Chinese retirement occurs when they are 40-55 years old, as opposed to our 60-year standard. The people there weren't very old at all and so engaged themselves in song and dance, card games and a version of hacky sack. We proceeded along to the Temple of Good Harvest and the Temple of Heaven. We went to Tiananmen Square in the afternoon and saw the Monument of the People's Heros and were reminded that were indeed in a Communist country (though you really wouldn’t' notice it in most cases). A Jade factory finished off the day. I may have bought a life-long green and purple bracelet that only I can wear... mostly because its so darn hard to get off ;-0 But there was a tour on the history of jade in China as well as some amazing pieces as a part of the museum side, before we were led to the gift shop area.
. . We did the Great Wall that next morning and boy what a morning! The hike was challenging -1748 steps - the view amazingly beautiful. All the steps were made of rocks cut the same height, but that meant that some steps were one layer and others were six layers tall, being a stretch for even my long legs! On such a beautiful day, it was very worth it. After a filling and much needed lunch, we went to the Summer Palace. This includes the 2400'+ Long Corridor ending at a life-size marble ship to party on in the manmade lake, and just beyond that a town built that looked like the set for Mardi Gras or a priate's port on the water. The servants were paid to come and pretend to sell their wears to the royal family. This third night we went to a market street where you could find pretty much anything for sale in a easy grilled or carmalized on-a-stick version... shrimp, fruit, scorpions, seahorses, and a lot of other things I didn't recognize or didn't want to.

. . The Forbidden City was quiet lovely - and expansive. There is this one part that would have been the size of a small town on its own, grown up or cut down from a rock garden. The paths and decorations were rock, the doorways fell under natural rock arches, pretty amazing all around. At the silk factor, for the multi-cocoons (double pupae+), first the bugs were pulled out then 7 sets were pulled over the small frame, then that was taken out and combined on the larger frame on the right 10 times... so 140 or more silk worms just to finish one "layer" off the large frame. This single layer (~140 silkworms) was pulled over the size of the quilt they are making, twin to cal-king, and these ladies do a wonderful job with speed... a lot of folks from the tour tried and found it to be almsot impossible to get it to 1) pull, and then 2) pull evenly... but I was impressed by the quality. There was a silk fashion show then following that between the main part of the silk factory and the clothing sales area.

lt minnig's going away

Lt Minnig's Going Away - this post isn't really about the actual going away event, although it was a lot of fun - great food/great conversation... this is almost an ode to a pretty special young lady who made a huge impact on the few months I've been here at Kunsan. Most folks talked abouthow great a sponsor she was (which was so impressive that I actually took notes!), but when we talk about her sponsorship we're actually talking about how she takes care of her troops, on and off duty, and how she takes care of the mission - no question about it, she gets it done. It's that same drive that has her beating me in every PT run we go on even though her legs have half the length of mine; the same drive that has earned her award after award for going the extra mile as SafetyMonitor, Voting Rep, and CGO Quarterlies. She is usually upbeat, sometimes funny, and always professional. After two-plus years at Kunsan (with the frantic ops tempo) she is going to work with the US Army in Italy - I know she'll do wonderful things there. What a great young leader!

korean

. . Well I finally finished my final for my Korean 111 class and got my grade - B+... but I don't know nearly as much as I'd hoped when it comes to using it in real life. I keep a notebook with me and I'm confident writing and reading/speaking now (not really comprehension), so when I talk to Koreans I pull that out and have them write down phrases, which helps.
. . I'm also teaching English to Korean students at a local elementary school, every other Saturday. They also help me with my book, and they're super willing to help me learn too. I've got 16 3rd graders for the first 2 hours, 4th and 5th graders for ~20 mins each, in turn. Right before I got to go home, I saw the 3rd graders practice with their recorders and bells for a holiday concert - I was singing along with them too :-) Music is a part of every class, which is really neat. The students are so eager to learn and they help me with my pronunciation too :-)

hispanic heritage celebration

A few of my troops are members of the Hispanic Heritage Club and they just hosted Kunsan's First Hispanic Heritage Dinner w/ Dancing -- what a wonderful evening! The festivities included a dinner made from traditional family recipes (Mom - they copied your amazing white chicken enchilada, but it just wasn't quite the same) and a group of Hispanic dancers performed 3 very different dances with wonderful music. The guest speaker was my group commander, the Falcon, and he shared some of his family's past with us - a past that highlighted the importance of family while serving one's country. I was very touched by some of the documents he shared with us, a letter between his uncles from April 1945, then later a newsclipping of the "brothers" (his father and 4 brothers) who were reunited after 9 years of service and travels. It was a strong tradition of military heritage, supported by the significant role of "familia." It ended with a piniata and Latin Dancing. I was so glad I was able to be a part of this event!

the song of ungirt runners

With the changing of the seasons and my enjoyment of running retuning, I thought this appropriate - its an old favorite of mine taken from the beginning of one of Anne McCaffery's Dragon series... its by Charles Hamilton Sorley:

. . We swing ungirded hips
And lighten'd are our eyes,
The rain is on our lips,
We do not run for prize.
We know not whom we trust,
Nor whitherward we fare,
But we run because we must,
Through the great wide air.
. . The waters of the seas
Are troubled as by storm.
The tempest strips the trees
And does not leave them warm.
Does the tearing tempest pause?
Do the tree tops ask it why?
So we run without a cuase
'Neath the big bare sky.
. . The rain is on our lips,
We do not run for prize.
But the storm the water whips
And the wave howls to the skies.
The winds arise and strike it
And skatter it like sand,
And we run because we like it
Through the broad, bright land.

autumn is here

I've been meaning to post something like this for the last several days - to share the good news! Thursday I woke up early without knowing why, and felt like running (which I've been struggling with since my arrival)... as soon as I got outside I knew why - Autumn is here!

The wind smells wonderful, reminding me of changing leaves and reading a good book in front of a fireplace. This shouldn't be such a unique situation, I mean, it happens once a year, right? Well, for me this is a rarity. I spent the last 4 years in sunny Las Vegas where we don't have trees that change color with the seasons. They actually decorate the palm trees (imported) and joshua trees (large cactus) with Christmas lights when the season is right... which is wrong in so many ways. The other thing that struck me last Thursday and has been reinforced the last few days is that I'm not cold anymore. I'd been keeping my A/C almost off since I got here, feeling very cold (with chill bumps) in the mid-70s, yet here it is at 63 and I can be in shorts and not be chilly. It had also been very humid and I've been mildly sick since I got here, but now that its dry (high 60%s vs 100%) I feel great and I can breath normally.

I remember in South Dakota that it would only get humid right before a rain and then once it rained it would be dry again... it's been exactly like that the last several days! I can't say how gratelful I am. I went running again this evening, amazing, beautiful. Somehow whenever the weather decided to turn on the switch, something broke in me that had me stuck in NV and now I'm remenbering skiing in jeans and a turtleneck with a windbreaker... I can't wait to play in the snow again!

af ball

. . It was quite an exciting trip to Seoul (the capital city of South Korea/ROK) for the AF Ball this last weekend. We left Kunsan at 0800, which seemed remarkably early for a Saturday morning, and took a bus to Osan. It was my first time at Osan and we browsed the shops just outside the gate. Now I know what they can do and what I need to bring with me next time (like pictures of gowns, pant-suits, shoes, etc). You simply can't find cute shoes larger than a 7, usually a 6... and we all know my feet aren't that tiny *chuckles* but I am excited to find what I did and I have great thoughts for the future :-) In the afternoon we had lunch at Chili's and took another bus to Yongsan and got settled into our hotel just off post, and just in time too...
. . Nicki and I had fun getting ready for the ball while the guys were chillin' in one room, not even starting to get ready until we gave them the 5 min warning. And I think they still beat us :-) The evening was quite eventful, being the only Comm traveling with so many CE Red Devils *chuckles* with lots of pictures with leadership, and I even got coined by the 3-star just for taking a picture of him with all the guys "holding up the pitchfork" :-) I spent a lot of time laughing at them. Above is a picture of Stan and I at the dinner table.
. . After the AF Ball wrapped up (midnight~ish), we changed out and went to this lovely little bar about a block from the hotel. Such ambiance! It was nice to relax after being trussed up like a Thanksgiving goose in those uniforms, however elegant they look. And what wonderful friends! You can see the homey feel of the pub in the picture of Nicki and I below. It was the perfect ending to an exciting day :-)
. . Sunday morning we went back to Yongsan to store our luggage. Most of the group took the express train back, but Stan and I stayed to explore and window shop. There's so much to do in Seoul! Again, I now have a list of things I want to do given the chance to go back, most specifically the Korean War Museum, which would take up a whole day by itself. The train station is a huge mall in and of itself, almost twice the size of the Mall of America if I remember right (9 stories, huge open concert area in the middle) and we also got to watch an IMAX before catching the train back. Even that was exciting, just noting how long it took us to get there by bus (almost all day minus an hour or two in Osan), and it took less than 2 hours to take the express bus and a taxi back to the base the other way. The train was so smooth you didn't even feel like you were moving! I'll never bus it again!

KORN111, week 4

. . So, as an update on my Korean language class, I did well on the quiz on Monday of week 3, troublesome as it was, because the professor announced that of the 20 questions, we only had to get 10 right (so I tried 12 and got 11, so full credit where I should have gotten a 55%), and she followed up by saying that the next time she wouldn't be so nice... so obviously I didn't go into the exam Wed of week 4 with a strong heart.
. . I was even more worried once I got to class and saw the mid term exam! I didn't think I could get any of the sections, so I started with the one that I thought I could guess parts to... and basically used the test to answer the questions from within. I guess because I could understand what things were saying and apply them to different sections that with that little bit of a memory jog I am actually learning this, and I didn't finish dead last or fail completely (73% at only 30% of the total grade). It was also a little stressful because she didn't post our grades until today so I spent most of the weekend wondering what my grade would actually be. But its not a grade thing, its a proficiency and usability thing - I can get a 62% if I don't do the final and a 77% if I get 50%... whatever. But I do worry about the pace and that I just don't have time to do my job and also take this class.
. . Today is a typical example, I did the second half of my homework over my "lunch" at 3pm, left work at 6 so I could grab dinner en route to the 6:30 class across base, worked on correcting 1206s through our 15 min "lunch" and went back to the office at 9:30... arriving home around 11:30 only to realize I have to get up early to get my PT in and be at work because I've got meetings all morning actually during the actual "duty day" and I've got several suspenses due in that time. (but I really am trying to blog when I have the time) Its like I'm robbing Peter to pay Paul. I'm not complaining, and I am sure I could accomplish all the small taskers and paperwork if I spent less time trying to work things for all the sections in my very diverse flight, but... I'm also seriously considering not taking the 112 class that starts a week after this class gets out. The thought almost makes me sad, but somehow makes me extremely happy at the same time. Quite bittersweet.
. . I'm thinking I'll take one of my midtours (30 days, however I want to split it, so in 2-3s) when this is done and work on other more self-paced methods of learning the language before I try to tackle the classes like this once again :-) I like Pimsleur for memorization of speaking/listening skills and maybe I could use the Rosetta Stone now that I have a basic knowledge. I can certainly use a dictionary since I can now read properly, though I may still struggle with some of the nuances of creating sentence structure (but then I never could tell a pronoun from an adverb in English either), I'm sure if I could focus on getting around town, I would be successful.

heuksori drum and dancers

. . There was a very interesting performance at the base theater today - I'm not sure if it was supposed to be traditional Korean dancing and drums or now, but it was an "alternate duty location" so I figured it was something I shouldn't miss, especially since I've been trying to soak up the culture. I have to be honest though, the first scene about did me in, strictly women singers (which I wasn't expecting) in more Chinese looking gowns, which was a little screechy and warbley for me. But the all-male drum performance that followed was amazing. They had ribbons on their hats so that they were making designs mid air in time to the music as they were playing the drums and gongs,etc. There was another dance with different girls that almost looked and felt Hawaiian, then the same girls in modified costumes did another few "butterfly" dances with these lovely wraps on their arms and 3' sticks so they could hold out the fabric and really make it shimmer - it was so beautiful. The final drum performers finished in the dark with clear, backlit drums that had water on top :-) They turned the lights off and it was pretty neat (reminded me a little of the Blue Man Group). They also threw tons of glow sticks to the crowd - I was in a great mood at the end of the show!
. . There was also $1K in door prizes (coupons to use in the stores in town) inbetween each set of acts, but they had to be raffled off in $20 increments to beat legal. My ticket must have fallen out of my hat when I went to the bathroom before the show because my number was the 3rd number called and I couldn't find it in any of my pockets or in my bag... oh well :-) my loss went to a good cause: 5 of my Airmen (plus my CC) all won door prizes at the event. Its good so many people were able to benefit!

KORN111, week 2

. . My Korean class is moving along quite well... or fast, I should really say. We've had 3 classes so far, the first two were syllables and this last one was already into sentence structure and numbers - Amazing... and we've got our first quiz over everything we've learned next Monday (the next class). I guess that'll be my telling mark. I'm anxious. I can copy letters with the best, I can repeat the pronunciations, and I have no idea what any of it means! As far as learning languages, its a little like English in that there are a lot of exceptions, but thats about it.
. . The written characters (hangul) are neat. There are 24 letters and each syllable is formed with at least one consonant (or the null consonant) and a vowel. You can actually tell what sound the letter makes by looking at it because each one indicates a different placement in the mouth. The numbers are interesting as well because they have 2 sets. I remember vaguely the traditional Korean numbers from a TaeKwonDo class from ages ago, which is what we learned last night, but then when I tried to order a combo #3 (com'po set), the lady at Taco Bell corrected me (nicely, since I was trying), and said they said "sem"... which is from the Chinese derived numbers, and I have to say the rest of the numbers aren't so closely related by sound. Anyway, it is a fascinating class, regardless of speed and I'm putting it to use every chance I get and hopefully I'll learn something :-)
. . Oh, and I still don't have pictures from my promotion - I think someone lost that camera! Sorry!!!

a new capt

. . Well I pinned on Capt this afternoon - should get some pictures up soon, so this'll be my place holder.
. . I've also started SOS (PME), a Korean language class through the Univ of Maryland, and I will be going to a Network Warfighter Integration class in Oct or Nov :-) Gotta stay busy! Today I started with PT at 6:30 and just got home after 10:30... and its going to be time to do it all again tomorrow :-) but I've got some great troops so its all worth it.

power outages can be useful

So the power just flashed off one day last week and it was wonderful because 1) it came right back up and 2) the ITNs didn’t, so I didn’t have to worry about responding to anything or getting any new taskers via email… this was the perfect opportunity to go meet my new troops (we're in 5 different buildings across base and I'm not getting a car) and get out of the office. Its funny that I’d been on base over a week (well, we were all in exercise mode for my first 4 days) and I still hadn’t seen all of the shops that fell under me, much less all of my people. Also of note, believe it or not, the shops under me still have not been gathered together as a flight since the unit’s “transformation” back in April. I think I’ll try to get them off early next Friday to go bowling or play volleyball, do some team building things, and actually get to know the other people in their flight! I should get my shipment soon so I might even turn it into a potluck. I still haven't quite figured it out yet, but I should probably start preparing an outline... More to come - but the people here are great and it is that small town, work hard/play hard kind of atmosphere that I love.

FINALS WEEK (14-19 Jul)

. . Wow – what a week! It started off pretty good - I had just had my final TMO pickup and sold my car so I was walking around base, quite content to having no keychain to worry about loosing, and really the only thing that I had to actually do is show up… by Monday evening I’d finished two of my finals, one I felt I ace’d and the other I felt I bombed! All was well by Wednesday when I picked up my parents at the airport… but then…
. . The final class was Thursday afternoon and all day Friday when I had the most to do to finish my Korea preparations. My parents were able to help me take care of a lot of things while I was in class, but certain things they couldn’t do, like get the tickets for the Tournament of Kings (like Medieval Times) dinner/show at the Excalibur. Will Call required the card the tickets were purchased with and photo ID, and with Friday’s class scheduled to get out at 5pm, there obviously would be no way to get through traffic and drive from the base to the Strip, by the required 5pm on the evening of the event. We had never been briefed on how that final class was going to go, so were unprepared for the assignment that came down Thursday afternoon, and most of us had to stay late, and I worried I wouldn’t be able to get the tickets… then we, as a class, decided our final group presentation would be at 2pm… which held until about 1pm… it was quickly pushed back to 3pm and eventually to 4. Our 20 minute presentation lasted almost a whole hour and I actually had to leave when the instructor was still giving feedback to some of the students so I could make the show on time. I was able to make it down to the strip just in time for the show, and it was awesome :-)
. . We went home to pack and get some sleep (ie. download more books!), then had a slew of errands I had to accomplish Saturday morning before graduation. I got a letter from a good friend in Iraq with my held mail, which made me smile, though I was then scared because I hadn’t been planning on holding my mail… silly really, since I wouldn’t have been scared if I just didn’t receive it. The graduation was a small affair with only 19 of us “walking” but it was very nice. Our class speaker covered the diversity of our class and had compiled how many days, flight hours, sorties, etc we’d contributed to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, which amazed me, and then ended on a happy note with a compiled “top ten reasons” :-) The guest speaker basically gave us an academic lecture on the MSGL program, how it started and how its been used since – which was actually really neat and interesting, with its military roots and such. The food at the reception was pretty good (it was at the Red Rock Casino), but with all the pictures and knowing I wouldn’t see most of these folks any time soon, I have to admit I got a little choked up. My folks drove me back to billeting and I took a nap until our graduation social. I was surprised at how late my parents and I stayed, though only a handful of students showed up, everyone had their families, and we ended up playing team SuperScrabble... it was so fun...

drivers in Vegas, it’s a sickness

So I’ve just about talked myself out of driving in Las Vegas. I had one friend, a good driver, rear ended on the highway almost a month ago, and another friend was just hit a few weeks ago while riding his motorcycle. My first friend is fine, just the normal aches and pains that went away in a few weeks, but my second friend is in a coma (please pray for him and his wife). I am trying to sell my car and so now I’m paranoid that the next time I drive it I’m going to get hit (I’ve been hit quite a few times driving here, the cheapest was $800 with no visual damage to the car, to $6K in damages, and even totaling a vehicle), but its more than just a few incidents. I am literally afraid to walk along most roads, uncomfortable even if there’s a sidewalk, which there isn’t always, and that’s not right.

The stats show that 25% of the folks on the road are under some kind of influence (drugs, alcohol, fatigue), but its also that this is the first society I’ve come across that propagates the idea that you don’t have to be responsible for your actions. I’ve been in one hit-and-run that was costly, but to leave the scene where a person might be dead due to your actions… its almost unimaginable… but not here… read the news, it happens all the time. On base, one of the few places where you should be able to leave your home unlocked, gangs of children vandalize the neighborhoods… this behavior would be immediately adjusted/stopped in another town, on another base, but not here, they're too uncontrollable. The sense that you can do whatever you want and get away with it, because its fun, because there are too many people for you to get caught, I don’t know the reason, but some people just feel they have these rights. “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” is something that even the locals take to heart. It’s a sickness.

And this is something I’ve noticed among some of my own ‘friends’ even. Have you ever heard the song Big Rock Stars by Nickelback? That just about sums it up for me – the “at risk” guys and gals, 25-30, who have big dreams and don’t even see what they’re getting into because the possibilities are just too tempting. It makes me so very sad that such intelligent people can be so easily misled. But according to the pictures, they’re partying like a rock star *sigh* It makes my heart sick for them, and for what they might have become… Thankfully I will be leaving for Korea soon, but that certainly doesn't fix the situation for the 1.5M residents of Clark county. All I can do is continue to pray.

harney peak glistens

The lake glistens.
We head into the woods. Our goal: to be back at the car before sunset. The path is still damp fom the freshly melted snow. We walk. Talking, laughing, teasing, giggling, tickling.

The snow glistens.
We slip and slide up the slope. There is the outlook... finally a place to sit and rest. Dry ground. We break open the water jug. Drinking, laughing, splashing each other, passing it around. Cool breezes, smiling.

Our faces glisten.
Across the valley stands our destination. We climb for a better look. A snowball whizzes past. Narrow misses, sure hits. Scrambling in and out of sight. Laughing, freezing, ducking. A wink.

Our bodies glisten.
Bits of snow still cling to our hair and clothes. Fingers red from navigating the ice and granite ledges and rock faces. A glance to the peak we won't reach today. Hugging, laughing, running. A sigh.

The lake glistens.
The trees part and we see children running about, parents relaxing in the growing shade. Cars neatly parked side by side. A race to the car; winner gets shotgun. Giggling, holding, shrieks of laughter. A touch. A look.

KN. 2 Apr 2000

two bodies

Two bodies. Slow dancing. Soft Music.
. . A moment.

Two hearts. Beat a song. Rhythmic tattoo.
. . Forever.

Two heartbeats. Syncopation. A kiss.
. . It grows.

Two bounds. Limitless. Pulsing evolution.
. . What now?

Two bodies. Intertwined. Lying together.
. . Eternity.

Two bodies. Resting. A sigh. No more.

KN. 1 Apr 2000

a new look

I cut my hair last week while on leave last - its pretty short but I'm trying to get ready for Korea so its going to get shorter... spending lots of time in a gasmask and such :-) Here's a picture. I was able to donate 14" to a very good cause, and I didn't even panic this time!

Had a bit of an accident with a steak knife Monday on my way home from work. No pictures, but long story short (since I just finished my homework and have to go to bed shortly), I didn't need stitches, its 2cm by 2in deep and is healing well. No infection, didn't cut any nerves or arteries. Oh, and I can't drive because my car is a stick, but I still have to work :-) All is well.

the weeping willow

Have you ever looked at a weeping willow?

She hangs her head,
Her exhausted limbs shake.
She weeps for her lost love.

She longs to break down and cry,
But she knows to do this is to die.
So she moves with the winds
And through this she lives.

Her dance is sorrow, not so much shame.
She moves slower, gently now.

Her sobs whisper softly
As her brances sway slowly.

Quietly.
Fading fast.

All she knows is that she must bend,
Or else break.

Her fears are rising.

Is she as lost to herself
As the one she once clung to?
The one she once depended on?
The one she knows she could always trust - forever.
Her one true love.

After the rains abate
The tears glisten as they run down her cheeks.
Little rivulets.
They are pulled thinner, longer,
And she finally feels stronger.

The sun shines upon her
To dry her tears away.
She is glad that she could bend
And not break.

To be rooted, steadfast, but always pushing,
Making room to grow,
Even as she wants to shrink and shy away.

The good and the bad;
One fortifies the other.

The clash of wanting the relief of cool tears
To wash her worries out of her mind,
And wanting to bask in the glory and warmth
Is always there, always present.

She is torn between pleasure and pain.
To be taken to her limit and pushed over it
Allows her to grow.

She shall run and not be weary,
Walk and not faint.

And the glory and greatness shall reign...
Triumphantly... Eternally...
Because no matter how many times
She bends her head to cry...

She will survive.
The moving, bending, growing.

She will not be broken.
She refuses to die.

You can neve break her,
Even as she lies
Vulnerable and seeking,
Striving to know...

She she hangs her limbs
And weeps for things that cannot be so.

Until the storm is past.

Then she will know.

KN. no date (97-99)

i see you

I see you and you smile.
You just brightened my day.
Its that special feeling
. . when you think you realize
. . that the person you like so much
. . likes you too.

You laugh from across the room.
Your laughter wipes my tears away.
Just a thought, a kind word,
. . if only you'd glance this way,
. . and the joy no man taketh away.

In my dreams you appear.
You walk and talk, and I am yours.
But even when dreams
. . don't cloud my eyes,
. . the sun shines on my face
. . and I see love.

KN. 13 Apr 2001

no way to say

There's no reason for crying,
Inside I'm not truly dying.
But it seems like I am,
Or at least have lost a friend.

Its hard fo me to see
The way things used to be
When you aren't talking to me.
Its like my wold has gone silent.

I can't seem to find air to breathe.
I hope you can't see what you're doing to me.

It hurts in my chest,
Deep, where I can't try to reach.
My longing and pain
Just won't go away.

Your silence is strangling.
Its nothingness echoes in my ears.
You don't want to talk,
You aren't willing to listen.

Why must you force this situation?
All it causes is pain and agony.
If I try to see whee you're coming from,
You turn and hide yourself away.
And I can't see you.

When I try to say what I feel
You slam barriers up in my face.
I know I haven't got much tact,
A thousand times you've said that,

Once I thought that didn't matter
And now you've proved that I'm wrong all along.

I shouldn't pay you no nevermind,
Not one little bit.
But part of me is crying out.
You know you've wrenched my heart out.

How can anyone be as cruel as you?

If I were someone else
Maybe I wouldn't mind you.
You are my best friend;
And words or no words can't change that.

Don't you see you've made me wrought-up?

Because we two are so unalike
I know there's no way to say
What I'd like for you to know
About my reactions to your ways.

KN. no date (99-01)

falling rain

The rain taps gently against my window pane. Begging me
. . to let it in.

A great temptation that will not last long. Because I will
. . succumb to it.

I fling up the shades and am almost immediately lost
. . in the moon. Peaking out from behind ominous looking clouds.

As if I am in a trance, I open the windows. The wind blows.

I raise my arms to glorify the feeling. I accept the rain.

My hair, pulled away from my face in the initial gust, sticks
. . wetly to my neck and shoulders.

The full moon shines on my upturned face. Glistening in the dark.

Beautiful diamond droplets race down my neck
. . as the torrent increases.

If I lean out any further I shall fall. And I do.
. . And yet, I don't.

Because I have already fallen.

KN. 5 Apr 2000

SCUBA

I thought I should include a picture of my new BC only because its soooo neat. Not only does it come in the colors of all my current scuba equipment, it zips up instead of having the weird/ill-fitting cummerbund and randomly placed chest strap! Its got several side tabs to pull so it fits properly across the chest, ribs, hips, torso, so it won't go up or down. Its a back-inflate so I've plenty of room to move my arms, and its got integrated weights (includes trim pockets in the back) so its super easy to stay perfectly horizontal or vertical and you don't have to worry about the in betweens unless you're trying for that.

I finally dove Lake Mead (here in Vegas) for the first time on Thursday. I played a lot with the buoyancy, but my BC is so sweet, with its zipper and the adjustments so it fits like a corset. By far the most comfortable BC I’ve ever worn. We did two dives that day, the first was a girl’s final certifying course for her open water, then the second I got to play dummy for a fella getting his rescue cert. He had to surface tow me for 100 feet simulating rescue breathing, then undo my BC and get me onto a boat and simulate CPR. Then, back in the water with my BC on, I went down to 60ft and had to pretend being out of air, fight for his air/mask/etc, then not want to stop for a decompression stop. It was pretty fun, so I think that’s something that I’ll look for after Korea (brought back old lifeguard memories), and its just good stuff to know in general.

I almost got to do this neat dive just off of Long Beach this weekend, but the weather was too bad for a novice such as myself… maybe next time. It was an oil rig, but because it goes down some 700 feet, it’s a “bottomless” dive. I’ve just got stories now of playful seals blowing bubbles in divers’ faces, huge starfish over a foot across, snaggle-toothed sheep's head fish and tiny little shrimp in all the colors of the rainbow hugging the structure. The weather cleared up a bit, though the sun never fully came, but it was a fun/relaxing weekend after all :-)

.

If anyone has good ideas for warm water dives this next year+, please post a response! I’ll make sure to get the word out when I’m planning my next dive (locations from my previous post, plus Fiji I’m thinking now), and if folks are interested I'll organize all the details.

keeping busy, as always

Well I have moved into my new apartment... and now two weeks later, I finally got my modem - sorry for the delay. Still going through those old storage boxes too. My new address is:
. . . . 770 W. Lone Mountain Rd #1078
. . . . North Las Vegas, NV 89031

I am just spinning up into my new (and final semester!!!) and have decided to start an advanced course in SCUBA (currently only Open Water certified). I purchased a BC, regulator and all the gauges so that when I do get to Korea, I'll be well equipped and confident when I go diving in Australia, Philippines, Thailand, etc. Still working on handing off my old jobs though so it feels like I'm working overtime between that, outprocessing, school, and researching my new position/unit in Korea. Guess that's it for now; hope everyone is having a great day!

my dream dress

. . I actually stumbled across this dress in April 06 and it was originally $400~ already on sale and the guy said he’d give it to me for $350… right before Kathy and I went on our Caribbean cruise… I thought I could come back, but we ended up not having time on our return through Miami to Las Vegas.
. . The shop was wonderful, in the lovely Gables Shopping District, Miami, Florida, and I don’t think it had two of any dress, and there was someone on hand to help with anything, make alterations, etc. The shop owner saw me and directed me to this dress (I did try on several others, but it really was the perfect one), but I obviously had no idea how much dresses in a shop like that could cost... much less what others would pay elsewhere! But the dress felt so good, a super soft, flexible fabric, that felt amazing on my skin. That Kelly Green was my favorite color at the time, complimenting my red Irish hair. Notice the small braiding along the top of the dress and as the straps? You can’t see it, but the bottom gently sat on my feet, all long and graceful, beautifully draping down my body, the perfect size, fit, and length - it was made for me! But I lost it.

. . I saw this same design/fabric in solid black at Harrods in London that Oct, but the price was over double the previous and my parents were with me *sigh* Guess whenever I find such fabulous fabric I’ll have to make it myself!

the box

This is something a good friend of mine gave to me over a year ago. It is very special to my heart. I was thinking about it today, so I thought I'd share it with you. Its by Kathy.

. . I carried my small box around with me everywhere. It was beautifully decorated with white lace ribbon and gold foil paper that shimmered in the light. My Father had given it to me. He had entrusted this wonderful gift to my care. He told me I must not open, for it was a present for someone very special. Day by day and year by year I carried the box. As I grew older, I began to wonder if I would ever find the one the gift was meant for.
. . One day I met a very special friend. I began to believe that he was the one that the gift was meant for. Confidently, I handed him the box and watched as he slowly unwrapped it. He began by slowly removing the delicate lace ribbon. Then he gently removed the tape from the edges and the contents, he looked at me in disgust, closed the lid, and shoved the box back at me. I never saw him again. I was crushed. I tried diligently to restore the box to its former beauty, but somehow it just wasn't the same. The gold paper had been slightly ripped and the ribbon stretched. I did the best I could but it just wasn't the same.
. . Years went by and many times, I felt that I had found that special person who was ready to receive this precious gift. But time and time again, they would turn away. The once beautiful gold foil paper was now worn beyond recognition; the ribbon lost a few years back. I could no longer wrap it so I carried just the small white box.
. . Then it happened, I finally met the one that was worthy of the gift. I felt ashamed; the beautiful wrapping and ribbon were gone. Why would he want such a gift? I handed him the box anyway. He opened it and smiled. He took the gift and made it his own. He cared for it as his prize possession. Day by day, year by year, our happiness grew as we became closer and closer. I knew him as My Love.
. . One night as we walked through the park together, we were attacked by a black hooded creature. It tried to kill me and steal the gift. My Love defend me and the gift with his life. I was helpless as I watched him die before me, cruelly stabbed. Filled with anger, I chased the creature. We began a bitter battle which seemed to last for days. Just when I seemed destined to die myself, My Love appeared. He was dressed in a robe of white. I feared that I was going into delirium, how could this be, I had just watched him die. But this was no delirium, My Love took hold of the creature and crushed it with one blow. Its limp body fell to the pavement with a thud. Curious, I peered into the robe. I was horrified with the sight, for the creature bore my face and tattooed on its body were all the names of all the others that I had given my gift to. All I could do was fall to my knees and cry. How could My Love forgive me for all that had take place? How could we go on? I had lost it all.
. . A flash of light intruded into my solace. I looked up in time to see my love setting fire to the body on the pavement. I watched weeping as it slowly burned. I felt fear as the last ember crumbled. I looked up at My Love who had been standing patiently waiting. My head dropped and my eyes again filled with tears as a hopeless feeling filled my heart. As the final flame died, I felt a gentle tap on my back. It was My Love, summoning me. I turned away ashamed of past events. I couldn't even look him in the eye. Persistent, he bent down and picked me up. Tears continued to roll down my face. He began to walk slowly with me in his arms. I turned to look at the ashes of the creature, but they had disappeared. Nothing remained of the creature. Slowly, I turned my head back and as I did, I noticed My Love carrying a small box beautifully wrapped in gold foil paper and white lace ribbon.

between a rock and a hard place

There is beauty through tough choices, and life thrives, no matter where it is planted. Often down to taking the better of two evils, to quote another familiar phrase, there can still be beauty in the decision and the journey it leads you on. I actively try to think about the positive side to everything, and often enough fail, but there it is still, the optimism that there is something good to be had from whatever is set before you. At any difficulty you must face, at any time you are forced to choose between two seemingly unacceptable or undesirable options, when you are required to react to a situation you never imagined or were told would never happen, you grow and adapt to those elements. The outside influences and each experience force us to change from the inside out.

busy, busy – what’s new? an apartment!

Well, I have determined that my old poems are in storage, but on the good side, I’m moving into my 5th residence in Las Vegas soon and I’ll get to go through everything again. My current roommate/landlord is renting his house to a family as he is PCS'ing out next week, but the new tenants move in 1 May so I’m getting a little place where I can pull everything from storage and what’s at the house I’m at now. I’ll have the space to organize and determine what is going to Korea and what is going into military storage… and get it all into two different rooms so I know the movers won’t accidently pack the wrong stuff. I’m a little nervous and a lot excited.
There’s a lot going on (inspections, finals, exercises, taxes, moving and preparing to go overseas), so I probably won’t post again until after the 15th unless I can afford to procrastinate again, but I’ll write on the pictures posted below to get the juices flowing again. I’ll drop those poems as soon as I find them - they’re like old friends I’ve been missing lately. Oh, and I did get my reporting date pushed back so I can finish my masters in July. Yayay!

my first blog

I read a lot of friend's blogs, but I'd never thought about actually blogging for myself until a good friend of mine recommended it. When I was younger I used to write a lot, but I've neglected that side in the last few (okay, many) years. I have some big changes coming up in my life that I am very excited about, and will probably overshare in great detail as the events unfold. In the beginning, depending on if I find some of my old poems, I'll try to share those so you can understand my writings and beliefs better.